'Is there a doctor on board? The pilot has had a heart attack'

Mr. Hartmann, sir, in this case you definitely have to consider the source. The Daily Mail is famous, or infamous for their lurid headlines and exaggerated stories. They're always good for a chuckle when waiting around the airport or a grocery store.

You're reaching, as usual, Wilbur. The article clearly reads that, "The captain of the KLM aircraft fell unconscious as he was about to leave for Amsterdam in the Netherlands." And goes on to state, "The co-pilot of the plane, which had 128 people on board, took the aircraft back to the gate."

Critical reading skills are important, sir.