Terminal Racket. The Scourge of Airport Noise
August 30, 2023
EARLIER THIS MONTH month I was in Berlin, boarding a plane at the new Berlin-Brandenburg Airport. Walking through the lobbies and concourses, something felt different. I couldn’t quite place it. The airport, only three years-old is spacious, clean, and well laid out. But it was more than that. It was something else.
Then it hit me. It was quiet! From the time we walked through the front doors, until the moment we arrived at the gate, not a single public address announcement played. Not one. The speakers were silent.
Every airport in the world should follow this model. Indeed, some are quieter than others, to varying degrees. Copenhagen and Amsterdam, for example, keep announcements to a minimum. But on the whole, airports are some of the noisiest public spaces we have, and the loudspeaker is mainly to blame.
Sure, terminals are packed with wailing babies, chattering TVs, and airport architecture seemingly designed to amplify, rather than quash, the collective racket of hundreds of people. But it’s those public address announcements that are the most aggravating culprit. Ninety percent of them are useless in the first place, and they’re often delivered at a volume severe enough to shatter windows. And with all the various microphones and speakers targeting different sections of a terminal, it’s not uncommon to hear two or three announcements blaring at the same time.
The result of this, whether you sense it directly or not, is stress. And if there’s one thing the air travel experience needs less of, it’s stress.
Berlin-Brandenburg Airport. Photo by the author.
The needlessness and redundancy of most announcements would be hilarious if it weren’t so annoying. And those few of any value are presented in such a tautological tangle as to be almost incomprehensible. Why say in ten words what you can say in a hundred?
At JFK, for instance, there’s an announcement that loops around every five minutes or so. It declares: “All areas of the terminal have been designated as smoke-free.” I’ll begin by asking if there’s anyone alive who’d be daft enough to assume they’re permitted to smoke in a terminal. But listen, also, to the language. JFK is the ultimate melting pot, and I have a healthy suspicion that, to someone with limited English skills, a phrase like “designated as smoke-free” has about as much meaning as a bird call.
Then we have the security announcements. Did you know that my hometown airport, Boston-Logan, is home to a program called “SAFE,” or “Security Awareness For Everyone”? I know this because I’m told about it over and over again while sitting at the gate. “If you see something, say something.” Important advice there.
We also have the one that goes, “If a stranger approaches you about carrying a foreign object…” A what? I picture a toaster with wires coming out of it. “Would you mind taking this to Frankfurt for me?”
Meanwhile, “TSA has limited the items that may be carried through the security checkpoint,” we’re told at Los Angeles International. “Passengers are advised to contact their air carrier.” The pointlessness of this counsel deserves no elaboration. Of the millions of travelers who’ve been subjected to this recording, I suspect the total number who’ve moved to action and “contacted their air carrier,” stands exactly at zero. To further fray our nerves and damage our hearing, it plays after you’ve gone through security.
Dubai Airport. Photo by the Author.
As does the one that goes, “Los Angeles International Airport is closed the general public, and only employees, ticketed passengers, and those directly assisting passengers qre allowed on the airport property” (I’m paraphrasing slightly). There is no need for this one, period, but the fact that it’s broadcast after passengers have been screened and cleared by TSA is surreally idiotic.
Indeed, the overseers of LAX have created what might be the noisiest airport in America. Among the racket is an absurd series of PAs that play outside, on the sidewalks, where the concrete overpasses increase the decibel level exponentially. Anyone waiting for a hotel shuttle or the rental car bus is subject to a mind-melting cacophony of unintelligible blather.
And although Americans have a deep cultural affinity for infantilization and condescension — as if every citizen is too stupid to get on an airplane, or to even ride an escalator, without a loudly barked set of instructions — we aren’t the only offenders. If you’ve ever been to the domestic terminal in Medellin, Colombia, or to Mexico City’s terminal 2, you’ll know what I mean. Bring a good pair of headphones.
Ironically, the actual loudest things at an airport — airplanes themselves — are almost never heard, buffered behind walls of glass and concrete. And it’s not until stepping aboard your plane that you can finally savor some silence.
Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam. Photo by the author.
Or that’s the idea, anyway. Alas, the airplane cabin has contracted this same scourge. Nowadays, the entire boarding process, followed by the first several minutes after takeoff, consist of nothing but announcements: safety videos that never end, ignored directives on how to stow your luggage, and those manifesto-length promotional speeches. On a flight recently I counted thirteen separate PAs during the boarding process alone, from either the gate agent or a cabin attendant.
Here’s the thing: nobody is paying attention. All these PAs do is create noise and leave people frazzled.
On one airline, a pre-recorded briefing plays during descent, telling people to buckle up, stow their tables, shut their laptops and such. The recording ends, and a second later a flight attendant comes on and repeats the entire thing.
Bad enough, but winner of the redundancy award are those announcements letting us know that “Flight attendants will now be coming through the aisles to [insert task here].” Seriously, we don’t need a heads-up on what you’re about to do any more than we need to know what color underwear you’re wearing. Simply do it.
All of this sonic pollution does not make passengers more attentive, more satisfied, or keep them better informed. What it does is make an already nerve-wracking experience that much more uncomfortable.
Berlin we turn our weary ears to you.
Upper photo courtesy of Unsplash.
Related Stories:
HOW TO SPEAK AIRLINE. A GLOSSARY FOR TRAVELERS.
FAREWELL TO CNN AIRPORT NEWS
Leave a Comment
Maximum 1500 characters. Watch your spelling and grammar. Poorly written posts will be deleted!
63 Responses to “Terminal Racket. The Scourge of Airport Noise”
You are viewing newest comments first. Click to reverse order
Gee Peter, your premise on preferring a self-centered, incompetent, narcisist felon is not on point to the subject of airport noise.
I couldn’t agree with you more, Patrick. But sadly, while there is such a huge % of the population so stupid that they will support a 77yo senile man to become President, US airports are stuck with this blather. Thankfully, as you and others have identified, it’s not so common internationally.
However, announcements from the cockpit can’t escape attention. Seriously, can some of your fellow pilots please Just. Shut. Up!! The crew in the cabin welcome us aboard so you guys/gals don’t need to do it. Tell us the flight time, the weather and thank us for flying with you. Then shush!
As per Carlin:
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
Harvey Milk Terminal 1 at SFO. Huge, beautiful, and QUIET! Deplaned and couldn’t figure out what was wrong…until I realized I could hear myself think. If you are more than 20 feet or so from your gate area, you can’t hear the announcements. Amazing…
Learned what Tautology is; I think? however, I agree and DRIVE to ALL my destinations under 12,501 miles.
Partrick,
Hello!
I love your posts but have one complaint: your page is not expandable on my iPhone. I also noticed that using the scroll wheel to adjust the page size doesn’t work on my computer. It should be a simple HTML or programming hack to remedy this, which would make your posts much easier to read on mobile devices!
Grr. Sea-Tac didn’t have announcements, and I realized that it felt a lot calmer. Now, unfortunately, I’m in DFW, and the mayor is telling me about the wonderful things that I can do in Ft. Worth. I heard the same thing outward bound, and I’m just in the airport to change flights.
Alas, Denver, my logical alternative for a lot of flights, isn’t any better.
But there is progress. Seattle used to have announcements, too. Maybe things are changing for the better!
Patrick, I agree with most of what you’re saying, and since I mostly fly out of LAX, I agree about the inanity and repetitiveness of the announcements. But let me play devil’s advocate here: Anyone who’s worked for any amount of time in a customer service related job will confirm that a certain amount of the public really IS stupid enough that they miss the blatantly obvious, unless it’s drilled into them repeatedly until they finally realize that yes, the rules actually apply to them and they should be followed. Maybe the solution is that in addition to the terrorism-based “no-fly lists”, the airlines need to create a list of people who are banned from flying because they lack common sense and/or can’t follow directions. Once these folks can’t fly anymore, then airports won’t need to run all of this announcements, and we can finally figure out a way to permanently disable all those TVs playing CNN. 😈
Actually, CNN Airport News is gone. Here was an earlier post: https://askthepilot.com/shorttakes/cnn-airport-news/
One of the few perks of living in Aspen Colorado was flying out of KASE. Not quite like departing from the GA terminal, but darn close. Quiet, easy pass through security and (thanks to only a few gates), very few announcements of any kind.
Very jarring when trying to make a connection at DEN.
As for once on the plane noise, the worst offender is probably Frontier flight attendents constantly pushing the Frontier Visa card over the PA system. I swear they work it into the safety annoucements and everything.
How about turning off the announcement once the last flight has departed for day. We had to overnight at Chicago Ohare airport due to a cancelled flight, and the airline made us sleep in the airport. The provided us with folding beds, and blankets,an overnigth kit, but no one thought to turn off the announcements. So allnight, we had to listen to these announcements while trying to sleep.
Thank you for this. My vote for the worst airport is the Abu Dhabi International Airport. When you arrive to your gate, it’s a constant barrage of PA announcements every 15 seconds. I’ve travelled through this hub at least 6 times in the last 3 years and each time it is acutely distressing.
The red zone has always been for loading and unloading. There has never been stopping in a white zone.
I’m for silence too. We should start paying close attention to the problem of too much noise in public places.
Couldn’t agree more. That said, the tannoy may still be useful inside the sort of well-appointed lounges like DXB for upmarket and loyal customers, where I imagine time would go by quickly and unnoticed if you aren’t made aware that you also have a flight to board 🙂
What *really* gets my goat is the unending, and mostly banal, in-flight PA. A 2 or 3-hour EK flight would make you want to throttle both the PIC and chief stewardess as you disembark.
Glad someone has at last written about this. I’d add one other scourge: it’sannouncerswhospeaklikethiswithoutspacesbetweenwordsoranyideaofpunctuation. Listen guys and gals: You’re trying to pass on useful information, not just get to the end. Four times in the past month, I asked my wife, “Did you understand anything she/he said?” “No!”
Two more. Blaring TVs with the same CNN news playing over and over. The is a device called TV b Gone (look it up on the WEB) and I wonder if it might work in the airport.
Also the instructions on the airplane on how to put on and release the seat belt. Seriously? Is ther anyone on this planet who does not know how to put on and remove their seat belt.
I wrote about TV-B-Gone years ago when the product was new. The company even sent me one to try. It worked, for the most part. Trouble was, the CNN people caught on and actually installed blocking devices in the sets that kept TV-B-GONE from working.
The good news is this: https://askthepilot.com/shorttakes/cnn-airport-news/
One really stupid one is the warning that if someone asks me to take their luggage from you that you should report it to security. By the time you find security and security comes the person will have gotten someone else to take the package and it will already be on an airplane. . The warning should be to take the package and call security and give it to them. That way there is no way that the package can get onto an airplane.
Another ridiculous one is the paging John Smith to tell him that his plane is leaving announcement. If John can’t get to his plane on time that is his problem and the whole airport does not have to know about it.
Your article is right on, about this mindless stupidity, that affects all travelers. They consider the flying public as a bunch of morons, who have never flew before. True some are new to it, but one half hour in those miserable terminals, should suffice to teach them anything they need to know.
On boarding, the craziness is sometimes worst. Do we really need to know they will pick up trash? That they will serve drinks during the flight, telling us about all the brands served?
Thank you. I hope some people “in charge” of that annoying noise pollution, will read your article, and will take a minute to think about making travel a less stressing.
Bravo!! a sentiment that should have been expressed a long, long time ago. Even I am negligent in not having done so. I may not travel as much as some of my forum peers, but when I do it is out of the Los Angeles airports, and yes,the repetitive and redundant messages that are put out and go totally unheeded, along with the flight announcements stepping over each other just create for total confusion. But here in the good old USA, the abundance of Karens and Kens(?) who will literally blame everybody and everything else for their idiotic shortcomings probably necessitates that noise pollution.
As a retired pilot, I am keenly aware of this health issue. Sounds overblown, but it simply is. As long as your brain isn’t installed upside down and backwards, most of these sonic intrusions are unnecessary. IF I were in charge, all gate agents would be unable to make terminal wide announcements. Some of them are frazzled and end up actually yelling into the microphone due to the pressure to get the flight out on time. Those “now boarding” or “closing in 10 minutes”, etc., could be handled by a button push at the gate. Then a consistent, centralized and relaxed male or female voice could make the terminal wide call. Instead, we get a cacophony of individuals who frankly are under pressure and don’t know how to make brief, calming and largely useless messages to someone sitting a mile away headed to a different part of the globe. Enough! Silence please!
One of the worst I have encountered is the departure “lounge” at the interisland terminal in Honolulu. They announce every boarding group twice, and some 737s and Super 80s have about nine boarding groups. The announcements go on and on, until there’s virtually no time when there’s not an announcement going.
Note to passengers: go to the gate, and watch the monitor to see when your group is allowed to board. If you can’t do this, then please don’t sit in the exit row or perform any other safety-related function.
What would I allow to be broadcast? What about cancellations and gate changes, I suppose. Or evacuations. But that’s about it.
Chuck
No kidding. I’ve spent alloys and lots of time on airports and appreciate the quiet relax feel of Europe.
And you didn’t even get to mention Canadian airlines that have to repeat everything in French!
One million amens. Preach it!
The North American OBSESSION with blaring TVs is dreadful —along with airports and sports bars, the worst for me are those breakfast rooms in virtually all hotels. 🙁
The one that bugs me is the announcement for human trafficking. Are we experts on spotting such things? It’s an invitation to a million Karen’s to get any couple they see as mismatched (to their eyes) a huge hassle. I think if something is so glaringly obvious, anyone with a heart will bring it to someone’s attention. What are the signs? Nervous traveler? Too many children? An abrasive guardian ? To ask that people already harassed to catch a flight to police other travelers is ridiculous.
Hear, hear!
(See what I did there?)
But you left out another big source of airport terminal noise – all the TVs blaring CNN / Fox, etc. They’re positioned every few yards so it’s inescapable. I assume someone makes money from that. Let’s find out who and shame them into stopping that obnoxious practice.
Ha ha! I came here to say exactly this!
I remember the first time I went to the USA from Australia and LAX was the entry point. The joke in Airplane (don’t know why but it was titled as Flying High here) on the transport concourse while funny didn’t really resonate with me until I was standing out there. I found myself suppressing laughter and a stupid grin on my face I’m sure more than one person was concerned about. 🙂
Last week through LAX I heard something to the effect of:
“Los Angeles International Airport is closed the general public, and only employees, ticketed passengers, and those directly assisting passengers were allowed on the airport property.”
They played this airside over loud muzak in terminal 7.
This was after the “Camino de conexiones internacionales” from Bradley to the domestic side. Which if connecting through terminal 7 is an outdoor activity of almost exactly a half mile, surrounded by bus and automotive pollution.
LAX is such a strangely loud and uncomfortable space. I guess they don’t care because the wealthy use the Gavin de Becker run “Private Suites” and get chauffeured to the plane in perfect silence.
I actively avoid flights routing through Atlanta because of the goddamned TVs everywhere blaring CNN. I’ll pay more for a longer, less convenient flight just to not be subjected to a layover with that blatter. Delta, you might want think about this.
They also talk too fast.
I have not flown for about 5 years. Are there flight displays in Braille for passengers who are blind?
My first reaction on reading the post was, “What a very good idea.”, but last night as I was drifting off to sleep I thought of the Schipol, “No flight announcements…” sign and it struck me that a blind person flying unaccompanied or someone who was illiterate or dsylexic would be left floundering.
Just went through Trudeau airport in Montreal yesterday. Come to think of it, I didn’t hear any PSAs (in French or English) either.
LAX TBIT is perhaps the absolute worst. In addition to everything you’ve mentioned, there seems to _always_ be at least one gate with the alarm blaring. Often it’s the gate where I’m waiting for boarding an overseas airline flight. Perhaps the flight crew aren’t used to U.S. airport door systems, and hold the door for a colleague, or open it from the plane side without swiping and entering a code.
Often, the onboard announcements are done at an ear-bleed sound level.
It’s from 40 years ago but I’m told that, after Manchester airport banned all but emergency announcements from the PA, one particular announcement seeking the person who was at the airport to collect 3 unaccompanied minors brought a complaint that National Coal Board employees were getting preferential treatment.
Yes, yes, and a thousand time yes! A true sign of my advancing years and inexorable journey to becoming my father is my intolerance for all the things Patrick mentions above. Add in the official French language requirement here in Canada (where a flight attendant poorly translates the captain’s message regarding the weather en route from Vancouver to Seoul (a notoriously heavy francophone route…not), and we get double the pleasure of mindless messaging.
I actually appreciate turbulence announcements on carriers such as United “ladies & gentlemen, sit down and fasten seatbelts please” as opposed to the 45-second step by step directions we receive on our local airlines.
I propose FAA/Transport Canada fines against airlines of a minimum $500 for each utterance of “at this time” – perhaps the most redundant waste of sound waves imaginable, yet bizarrely woven into every broadcast message.
I regularly fly to Burbank from SFO – Southwest SFO is in the new Harvey Milk Terminal and their are no general announcements inside, only at the gates, and those are quiet enough that you don’t really hear them if you are at a different gate. It’s glorious. Burbank’s cool too, since you still exit the plane onto the tarmac – it’s like the 1940’s or something. Pro tip: if you don’t mind sitting in he back of the plane, whilst flying into Burbank sit back there – they deplane from both doors and you’ll be the first one off! And loading at Burbank is also both doors, so even if you want to be in front, you can get there faster by boarding at the back and walking forward.
IMHO a lot of airport announcements are theater designed to cover security, airport management, and airline official rears in the event that something ever goes wrong via a very low probability post 9/11 event. What they are bureaucratically fearful of is an after the fact finger pointing investigation that reaches a conclusion that “management didn’t do everything possible” to prevent event “X”.
This unwritten WD-40 “make sure nothing ever sticks” cultural mentality exists in pretty much all government run activities because they are subject to public and press scrutiny that loves to criticize minor visible failures but largely ignores organizational accomplishments.
This essay and all comments really have much merit. But….is anyone listening? Are all the announcements necessary? No, but when you consider that 50% of Americans want to re-elect a man totally unfit for the job, I guess if that 50% get on an airplane, yes, they do need to be told this stuff over, and over, and over…….
*sigh*
SFO, while not a silent airport is a quiet airport. It’s rather pleasant.
And on the topic of folks not getting AIRPLANE references, I had not one but TWO new hire sim partners not get Airplane references. Makes it awkward after asking if they’ve seen a grown man naked… whoops.
I’ve just flown from London Heathrow. I don’t think there were any announcements at all in the main terminal, only boarding announcements at the actual gate. And we somehow all got on the plane on time without any issues.
Also there were very few announcements on the flight as well (Air Mauritius) and somehow everything worked fine again.
heartily agree. but aren’t the volume and persistence of announcements just the military discipline logic of being “large and in-charge”? TSA is basically just a jumped-up SGT, running around frantically barking orders at every living thing, not unlike a yappy little dog trying to assert Alpha status to one or two tangential humans and a potted plant and the mailman outside the window
Just curious, how do you feel about the greeting announcement from the flight deck? That’s usually the only announcement that I *do* care about, although I’ve noticed lately that a lot of pilots have been skipping it altogether.
OMG. THIS. ALL OF THIS.
In both New Orleans (where I live) and Atlanta, there is a constant loop of the Mayor welcoming you. It’s stupid, annoying and pointless, and only done so they can get their name in front of the public for free.
BUT “the moving walkway is ending” is probably a good one to keep. 🙂
Much to be triggered about here.
Over three decades ago I nearly missed a flight in Copenhagen because I was sitting at the gate with my nose in a book, waiting for the boarding announcement. Which never came. Not that I enjoy a deafening harangue; I just wasn’t prepared for the silent treatment.
Amsterdam used to page late-boarding passengers with a good old Dutch scolding: “You’re delaying the flight!”
Yes, the more syllables you cram into your gibberish message to render it max-incomprehensible, the better. They should all be made to memorize Sir Ernest Gowers’ “Plain Words”.
Haven’t been to North America recently but 10 years ago Toronto & Montreal already had this blood-curdling chalk-squeak-on-board screech of a nasal voice doing their announcements. It felt (& no doubt still feels) as if your ears were chewing on tinfoil.
So there’s definite perversity in all this. It must fan the flames of air rage.
Terminal C at Logan has music playing constantly at a volume level that makes it difficult to have a phone conversation. The Bose speakers were positioned in such a way that there was no way to avoid it.
Amen. Reminds me of a flight I used to take to work AUS-IAH. It was only 29 minutes and they NEVER shut up. “Welcome aboard, then how to put on your seatbelts, emergency exits, etc., a plug for the airline, then the captain with his welcome and weather, then prep for landing, then more weather and gate info, then thanks. It was awful. Earplugs helped.
Berlin Brandenburg is only 3 years old – that’s a very funny joke!
Maybe “Berlin Brandenburg, the 11 year old airport that has been open for only 3 years” would be a much better way of stating it!
At SAN, they have the same announcement twice on security, first with a female voice, then again, slightly different with a male voice. Constantly. Add in TVs and so on, and it’s nucking futs.
My best story is at the first class lounge at DTW. I was in a small room and the TV was on to CNN. I turned it off and the lounge staff had a conniption about it. Again, contrast that to big airports overseas like LHR or CDG where it’s stupid quiet, no TVs assaulting you, etc.
For many years, I have flown in/out of PVD (RI). There is always an announcement about airport security. It plays probably every 5-10 minutes. The woman’s voice is mostly banal and unpleasant. She is trying to say, “May I have your attention please!” What it comes out as is “May I have your intention please!” How can airport employees put up with that is beyond me.
Thank you for the excellent reflection on this issue. I do a lot of event design for corporate clients, and one of the biggest issues is high-level decision makers simply want things DONE and don’t care about actual outcomes of their choices.
“We played the announcement, what else do you want us to do?”
The trouble, as you point out, is it stops being informative or meaningful when (a) it’s non-stop noise competing with relevant info such as boarding info and emergency announcements and (b) there’s no method of enforcement.
“If you see something, say something” is completely useless. To whom? Regarding what? A spilled soda? A fire? Someone yelling at their kid? A rude employee?
“Remember: 3-1-1!” is similarly unhelpful. As you mentioned, it’s too late to help anyone who didn’t have their sunscreen properly double-bagged.
The comment about the American fetish for infantilism is pretty accurate. But I’d also add that it’s specifically an American aversion for accountability or individual responsibility. We tend to see other people purely as obstacles or aids to our own goals, but never consider our own role in the situation. We are quick to complain about rush hour traffic, but will never acknowledge we’re one of the cars causing it. We’re more likely to ignore rules, so the airports have to play them on repeat to say “at least we tried.”
Singapore airport has been a silent airport for at least 25 years.
Passengers are responsible and regularly check the screens.
What a pleasure.
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.
No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.
The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There’s never stopping in a white zone.
Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Listen Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.
There’s just no stopping in a white zone.
Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if its done properly. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved.
Just the other day I referenced “Airplane” to a pilot colleague of mine. He was clueless. Never heard of it.
Young people… sigh.
I’d have no idea Phoenix Sky Harbor was America’s Friendliest Airport (TM?) if the mayor and city council members weren’t reminding me every five minutes on the intercom.
I noticed the first time how quiet European airports are when I was at Charles de Gaulle. One of the things I realized is how, subliminally, my anxiety level is ratcheted up because of all the noise.
I do wish U.S. airports would follow the same tradition.
DTW insists on reminding you every few minutes that Detroit is in the Eastern Time Zone.
Yeah I‘ve heard that one. But I suppose if you’re making a connection it’s somewhat helpful/useful, unlike most.
I agree with you 100%. My last flight on Saturday the pilot and flight attendants either had their microphones set to 11 or were screaming because their announcements were loud enough I needed to plug my ears. Oddly the one FA who spoke French and did the French version off all the announcements spoke softly and it was fine. Thankfully I’m flying Air France home so I’ll assume that the chatter will,at least be at a normal volume.
And would it kill airports to at least educate gate attendants on how to *not* broadcast routine announcements to the whole damn terminal? Why does every person in the airport need to know that a puddle-jumper to BFE will be boarding some time in the near future?
Maybe the airports should have a system to charge airlines per-announcement; with increasing costs depending on how much of the terminal will be playing it.
But hey, at least most airports have either stopped Airport CNN entirely, or it’s just a single speaker over the TV itself providing audio.